Ah’m having a terrible time
in half-timbered Totteridge
first the kettle cowps
its defurring chemicals
gobbing white sludge in ma tea
thus giving me furry cramps
in the solar plexus
and then ma sexus
is taken out by the teapot
tipping a ton of hot Tetleys
doon ma front
before it wis brewed
due to the new glue
in the china blue
handle
not resisting
boiling water
OK there were warning signs in both cases
but they were written in
bloody English.